Top Ten Tips for Loving Life 13.8.18

1 Live on purpose A sense of purpose brings the greatest of life satisfaction.  According to research people with a sense of purpose are happiest, they live longer and even make healthier life style choices (diet and exercise).  How do you find a sense of purpose?
Ask yourself: What do I care about?  What energises me?  What am I doing when I am happiest?
2 Plan for happy times  Don’t hope for a happy future – plan one!
Ask yourself:  Will this make me happy?  Going to yoga, visiting a friend will make us happy but we watch TV… plan and do it.  Choose what you do for the right reasons.
3  Stop comparing  We all do it.  The trick is to catch yourself doing it and remind yourself of what you are doing.  Do you post the least flattering photo of yourself on social media?  Tell a stranger how stressed you are?  You are presenting this to the world.
Ask yourself: Is that envy inducing friend who seems to have it all really that secure and happy?  He or she might have lots of worries you don’t even know about.
4  Count your blessings  Our outlook is what we see.  Our brains have a built in negative bias to spot potential threats.  It is to keep us alive not to make you happy.  We therefore need to consciously notice the positives.  I often tell clients to look for 5-10 positives everyday.
Ask yourself: Make a note of 5-10 things that went well that day.  What made you smile?  What did you achieve?  Read over these the next day and days when you feel low.
5  Wear your heart on your sleeve     Feeling upset about something your partner, boss or acquaintance has said?  You might think it better to keep quiet, not make a fuss but this can backfire.  Next time you are upset, let it all out – write a letter you never send and talk to them calmly when the anger has passed.
Ask yourself   Also, never suppress a generous impulse – tell someone something positive – tell them they are great, tell them now!
6 Ask for help   Are you the one who always does everything?  Most people don’t help out due to habit and ignorance – so tell them!  Ask yourself   
Rather than wearing them down with digs and reminders.  Set time aside for a bigger conversation and tell them why it matters to you and the advantages to them for helping.
7  Worry less  We have evolved to anticipate threats and because nowadays most of the threats we face are not life threatening – being on constant red alert isn’t helpful.  Constant worry can become toxic if left unchecked.  A distracting alarm in your head making it hard to focus on what you are doing and simply enjoy the moment.
Ask yourself   Worries are only useful if they alert you to potential hurdles – which you can plan for and act on.  If it is beyond that seek help.  If you worry about money then seek help from a financial adviser.
8  Get things in perspective The day from hell – train cancelled, late for work, forgotten train/bus pass, it starts to rain not dressed appropriately… We are all prone to a spot of drama!  Catastrophising leads to becoming stressed out with hormones that makes us feel like we are living in a war zone.
Ask yourself   The next time something goes wrong – try re-framing.  Remind yourself that missing the train is annoying but not the end of the world.  This will pass.
9  Be here now   Mindfulness.  Close your eyes to really taste your food.  Try using all the senses – grounding techniques.
Ask yourself  you are waiting for a bus rather than reach for your phone to kill time savour the moment and notice your surroundings.
10 Don’t take things too personally    If you are going to achieve anything in life you are going to achieve some critics along the way.   To avoid criticism – do nothing.  So roll with the punches and remember that you are going to pick up a few bruises when you are participating in life.
Ask yourself Do you want to love the live you life?  Then you need to live the life you love!

Social Anxiety 13.8.18

Social Anxiety is a common problem. 

Many of my clients suffer from this issue, here are three steps to find your social courage:

1  Challenge yourself and go to a social situation that triggers your social anxiety. 
Notice how you feel and hear your negative self talk of self-doubt. ‘What is everyone thinking about me here?’ ‘Do I belong?’ ‘Will anybody want to talk to me?’
Instead of trying to stop these thoughts, recognise them and be willing to temporarily accept and embrace that uncertainty and acknowledge that you are now aware these thoughts are unhelpful thinking.

2 When you are aware of a high level of social discomfort, try a mindful body scan.
Run your mind over your body, from your toes up. Notice how much resistance to anxiety you are experiencing by tightening, fidgeting, tensing and when you come to your thorax, you will problem notice you are holding your breath. Slowly noticing this let this negative energy go.

3 Don’t be afraid of rejection because it happens to everybody.
People are complex beings. Rejection is as much a part of human interaction as forming friendships. Sufferers of social anxiety tend to catastrophise rejection, fearing that if they start with a conversation with a new person they will receive dramatically abusive response. This is not logical and it is helpful to recognise that and to instead learn to accept rejection as something undesirable but not unbearable. 

If you recognise some of these examples and want some support. You can message me or speak to me about a one to one appointment on 07719 751138.

What happened to the Parents Peer Support Groups?

Parents Peer Support Groups

I have not completely stopped the Parents Peer Support Groups but I am looking for Schools and Children’s Centres to take up some dates from September onwards.

I am currently meeting with various Head Teachers, SENCo’s and Children Centre managers to come up with a schedule of events to relaunch the PPSG.

If you are interested in hosting one of these but want to know more:

  • I will provide a free 1 hour session on various topics from ASC, ADHD, emotional and behavioural challenges, Growth Mindset to Mental Health topics aimed at parents.
  • They take place preferably on a Wednesday morning from 9.30am – 11am but this is negotiable.
  • You will provide a room big enough for parents to sit in, with a power supply so I can plug in my laptop, projector and room for a pull up projector stand.

Previous hosts have after hosting these sessions asked me to run their own parental workshops specifically for their parents needs and INSETs for their teaching staff.

Parents have said how much they have enjoyed the sessions and that they have learned a lot from them.  Attached is a poster from June with the types of topics I can provide for your parents.

If you are interested please contact me so we can talk about dates and topics that might suit the parents in your school or Children’s Centre.

What is Bingley Business Social?

Why have I created it?

As a sole trader and owner director of a company I have been to lots of networking events and groups.  I found that I couldn’t find one that didn’t involve paying out quite a bit of money, meeting more often than I felt I needed to (or it clashed with clients and they come first!), I felt pressured to make referrals when they weren’t relevant, it was too exclusive (only women or only certain types of businesses which in fairness have their place), it didn’t feel relaxed enough to be able to comfortably chat or it was too far away.

Lots of us, as business owners can probably relate to those anxious feelings:

Did I say the right thing?

Did I talk too much or not enough?

Do they think I am an idiot?

Did they like me?

Do I fit with this group of people?

Will this work for my business?

Will anyone want to collaborate and work with me on some projects?

I couldn’t find a Bingley, Business Social so I though I shall create one.  It is exactly that, a social in Bingley, for businesses once a month.  It costs – nothing!  All I do is arrange the dates and times and all you have to do is turn up and network.  If this evolves into something more then that is fantastic!

I am very excited to launch the first Bingley Business Social on Thursday, 31st August 2017 at Martinez Wine Bar.  I do look forward to meeting many more Businesses from Bingley!

Walk and Talk with Sabrina from Brees Herbal Healing 11th August 2017

The Walk and Talk group on Friday 11th August 2017 had a special guest.  Sabrina from Brees Herbal Healings creates tinctures, ointments, creams and teas to help with all sorts of issues from low mood, skin problems, inflammation to urinary problems and the menopause.  She gave us some really useful information about the herbs we could find whilst we were out on our walk.

Take a look at my Facebook page Spring Seba Thomson to watch the video!

Slået op af Spring Seba ThomsonOnsdag den 16. august 2017

7.4.17 Walk and Talks every Friday and private sessions by appointment

I am offering group Walk and Talk sessions but also offer private one to one sessions just like private psychotherapy but we go out.

Walk Talk Therapy is talking outside whilst walking during therapy instead of sitting inside an office.

Many clients say that it is a more relaxed environment than the counselling office and it is a great way to jump start or support a fitness routine or active lifestyle. Walking while sharing your struggles and life situations can also be meditative. Walk Talk Therapy encourages healthy activity for adults and teens.

Research has shown that exercise can significantly impact anxiety and stress while improving overall mood. Walking is not only good for your physical health, but it is also good for your mental health.

Why Walk and Talk?

1. It gets clients moving—both literally.  Exercise is good for us and as part of good mental health self care.

2. It is conducted outdoors, being in nature is meditative, grounding and Mindful.  You are in the moment and noticing nature not thinking about negative thoughts.

3. It is an excellent choice for clients with several different kinds of issues. Clients who are going through a life transition, have anxiety, are experiencing some kind of loss or grief, as well as other challenges.  People with Autistic Spectrum Condition, men and teenagers tend to like the aspect of side by side aspect and no eye contact because it feels less confrontational and talking comes more naturally.

4. You set the pace of the session. If you prefer a meditative, relaxing session of walking or a more active, fast-paced session,  Walk Talk Therapy will match your pace.

5. Research studies have shown that physical activity can enhance the mental and physical health of clients.  Physical activity has also been shown to reduce levels of depression and anxiety and can help to prevent depressive symptoms.

Contact me to discuss your needs.

Blog 3.3.17

My previous FB Live from Hamish the horse was on 16.2!

I have sent out my Newsletter today to all those that subscribe to my website and if you haven’t subscribed to my mailing list please do – it is on my main page.

Currently I have many one to one clients for psychotherapy (anxiety, depression, stress, fears, phobias, bereavement, addiction) and tutoring (Year 2 – Year 6)  I see clients Monday to Saturday so if you would like to ring me about a no commitment assessment please call!  I am now registered with the BACP as well as the NCP this means that if you wish to claim your psychotherapy through your GP (NHS) or through your Health Insurance you can do so.  I have several clients that do this now!  I am also fully insured and hold a DBS.

Image may contain: 1 person, smiling, sky, outdoor and nature

My Walk and Talks started on 17.2, the walks have been in various areas: Shipley Glen, Otley Chevin and Baildon Moor.  These are to help alleviate the symptoms of mental health issues – you need to get out, exercise and you need to talk in order to feel better.  This helps to combine the self help strategies to keep your mental well being in a tip top place and walk with a trained psychotherapist!  £5 per person every Friday take a look at the dates and please confirm to let me know you are coming.

Due to low attendance on the Parents Peer Support Group which lead to me wondering about whether or not to continue with this free group.  When no one arrived in Ilkley, I decided to make the group that was at Outside the Box into an FB Live session this worked well with lots of people interacting.  So in future if no one confirms their attendance on Tuesday night then I will not travel to the venue and the session will be an FB Live session from my premises.

I volunteer at Haven on Fridays and occasionally I sometimes work as bank staff on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I am also on Standby as a supply teacher in Primary Schools on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

Becoming a trainer of staff is a fabulous new development which I am excited about and feels like a natural progression from teaching to training staff.  The topics I train staff in are various mental health awareness topics, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, etc.  Clients talk to me about their requirements and I create training packages that suits their staff needs.  Please contact me for further information on this!

I recently completed some training in Bereavement and Addiction, Resilience and Attachment and Motivational Interviewing.  I always like to keep my skills up to date through regular reading and feel my CPD is invaluable to keep my work knowledge up to date and to train and work with clients effectively, it is essential.

Next week I intend to ride Hamish on Tuesday if no work gets in the way!  I will be at Crossley Hall Primary School and the topic is Autism at the Parents Peer Support Group.   The Walk and Talk is at the Brown Cow car park in Bingley on Friday 10th.   The Friday the 17th and 24th are postponed due to CPD but the next is 31 March at Ilkley Cow and Calf car park.

Any questions do please ask!